Beancyclopedia (a work in progress)

A.R.P (also just ‘A.R.’)

Anal Retention Problem

Baked Bean

  • Baked haricot beans, typically cooked in tomato sauce and tinned
  • A lesbian who has spent too long on a sunbed


  • the edible nutritious seed of various plants of the legume family
  • the clitoris
  • a lesbian (Scottish slang)
  • a lady (Scottish Gaelic)
  • the head


A frugal lesbian (term coined by Sophie Norman)


A lesbian mathematician

Bean Feast

A vegan picnic or other food event attended wholly or mostly by lesbians

Bean Flick

A movie that has one or more lesbian characters or themes


Anniversary of the date that two lesbians started seeing each other

Bean Sprout

The child of a lesbian


A lesbian fart


  • The process of preserving your lesbian relationship
  • The provision of financial support for your girlfriend’s  living expenses: this can include but is not wholly limited to cost of sweeties, cakes, teas and haircuts


Vegan stalker

Beany-boo (also ‘Beanie-boo’)

  • Stuffed TY toy
  • Term of endearment used to identify your perfect lesbian counterpart


A heterosexual male who socialises with lesbians


  • Person who stalks lesbians


A vegan lesbian who is also a pagan

Black-eyed Bean

  • A creamy white edible bean which has a black mark at the point where it was attached to the pod
  • A lesbian boxer


Anniversary of a head injury


Lesbian celebrity

Celesvegan (also ‘celesbivegan’)

Vegan lesbian celebrity

Coffee Bean

  • A bean-like shrub of the coffee seed
  • A lesbian who spends a lot of time in coffee shops

Communal Haircut

To go for your haircut in pairs


A lesbian vampire


  • A Spanish dance
  • Name of the thesis L Calderwood almost did as a creative writing phd @ Aberystwyth uni
  • Vagina (Scottish slang)

Fey Boy

A heterosexual male who is effeminate


Abbreviated from ‘Fart most foul’

Green Bean

  • A type of bean whose long green seed cases are eaten as a vegetable when they are young and tender
  • A lesbian who is inclined towards sustainable living


  • A village near Sudbury
  • Portmanteau of ‘honey’ and the Scottish term ‘hen’

Henny-beany (also ‘Henny-beanie’)

Portmanteau of ‘honey bee’ and ‘hen’


Portmanteau of ‘honey bee’ and ‘bean’

Leaf muncher

Vegan lesbian


Portmanteau of ‘Lynsey’ and ‘Antonia’ (coined by Fiona MacKellar)

Meany-moo (also ‘Meanie Moo’)

Name given to a lesbian partner when they are being less than pleasant

Mixed Bean

A female who is romantically / sexually attracted to other females but who does not exclusively identify as a lesbian

Navy Bean

  • North American term for haricot bean
  • A lesbian sailor

Pee-and-tea stop

A toilet break during a road trip which is swiftly followed by a tea break

Pi Cruncher

Lesbian mathematician 

Pie Muncher

Lesbian junkfood addict

Retrograde amnesia

 Loss of memory access to events prior to a head injury or illness

Runner Bean

  • A central American bean plant with scarlet flowers and very long flat edible pods
  • A lesbian runner

Seitan Worshipper (Also ‘Seitanist’)

Vegan Satanist


Vegan Satanist

VEG (Vegan Edinburgh Glasgow)

Vegan social group for those living in Scotland’s central belt


Anniversary of the day a person became vegan

Vicky Romeo Plus Joolz

Butch-femme lesbian rom-com novel written by Lynsey Calderwood (currently unpublished and looking for a publisher!)


Lesbian zombie

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